Katie Cunningham

Check out this blog, does a great job of explaining the frustrations of subtle sexism. "You, person who told me to lighten up, saw one little thing. It didn't seem like a big deal, did it? One little line! One joke! One comment! But it's not just one thing to me: it's one of thousands that I've had to endure since I was old enough to be told that 'X is for boys!' It's probably not even the first thing I've had to deal with that day, unless you've gotten to me pretty early. That's the main problem with subtle discrimination. It leaves those that it affects the most powerless against it, quietly discouraging them. If they speak up, they're treated to eye rolls at the least, and at the worst, are called oppressors themselves. We're accused of not wanting equal rights, but of wanting tyranny." http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/

Oohh look how smart he is! The following blog post is useful to see why all the back history the ars technica post goes into is probably more distracting that useful. http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/oct/24/career-day/

I'm sorry, I'm a bit thick so I struggled to follow your forbite reasoning here. I think a translation will help thick people like me. First, the discussion of the legal situation lacks any perspective "Hey, it's ok that we screw poor/black people, and to be fair, it ain't gonna change; this time we screwed one of ours by mistake... shit happens, deal with it". Second, and related, the message of Lessig and of many others seems to be [..] turn it into a discussion of my pet causes. "Hey, let's make sure the death of a young man is as pointless and useless as possible. Please don't even try to use it as a way to help the causes he fought for when alive." It is worth reminding everyone that a vanishingly small number of criminal defendants in the US commit suicide "He should have lightened up!" - http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/ there is a significant overemphasis in the press of the "debate" among a relatively small but vocal community of people like, frankly, us. "I'd rather leave control of mass-media to bankers, politicos, lobbyists and their friends, like it happens on every other topic. I'm scared I might actually have to, y'know, know what I'm talking about." But that would be manipulative and shortsighted, and it is hard to see how it could possibly be a praiseworthy method for achieving social change. "I am incredibly naïve about politics and I like being abused, please keep doing it! I've enjoyed the last 15 years like…

I have nothing to add to this other than what "The Real Katie" said in "Lighten Up" http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/ >> Every time I spoke up about the above crap, I got some sympathy, but I also got some guy who didn't understand what the big deal was. If I wasn't in the middle of being raped or beaten or threatened or fired, guess what I needed to do? Lighten up. How long would you put up with it? Do you love anything that much? If your spouse subtly treated you like crap every day, how long would your marriage last? If you saw a friend being treated this way by their boss, wouldn't you tell them to quit? Or would you tell them to lighten up? You, person who told me to lighten up, saw one little thing. It didn't seem like a big deal, did it? One little line! One joke! One comment! But it's not just one thing to me: it's one of thousands that I've had to endure since I was old enough to be told that 'X is for boys!' It's probably not even the first thing I've had to deal with that day, unless you've gotten to me pretty early. That's the main problem with subtle discrimination. It leaves those that it affects the most powerless against it, quietly discouraging them. If they speak up, they're treated to eye rolls at the least, and at the worst, are called oppressors themselves. We're accused of not wanting equal rights, but of wanting tyranny.

Empathy, noun: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I think this is our[1] problem. Or a generalization of it: the ability to share another's viewpoint. To step into their perspective and say “oh. I see.” And to accept that maybe, just maybe, their viewpoint is valid. This isn't always true, by the way. But it is sometimes true, even often true. And even if it is valid, you may not agree with it. But here's the thing. There's this idea that maybe women aren't in tech because they aren't interested. That's cool. I'm not interested in nursing, right? Well it turns out, I've never done nursing. I haven't even looked into it. I haven't talked to anyone about it. Because I just assumed hey, I'm a guy, nurses aren't guys. Not even worth thinking about. That's the mindset. It's not that you know you're not interested, it's that you don't even give it a second thought! [2] The funny thing is, people here have generally found their passion—be it startups or tech. And when you have your passion and it fell into your lap, it's easy to say “well these people who aren't interested shouldn't be doing this anyway, because they're not passionate”. Even if they had no chance to develop that passion? Even if there was no exposure? Maybe we're being a tad too dismissive here, no? Perhaps we should give people a chance to explore a subject before assuming they'll never be passionate about it. Just a though. What about those who did reach that passion? Those who…

I'm always interested in what Katie Cunningham has to say. http://therealkatie.net/blog/

Maybe searching about "The Young Coders" may help: https://us.pycon.org/2014/events/letslearnpython/ http://therealkatie.net/blog/2015/feb/17/young-coders-why-twelve-and/ http://pycon.blogspot.com.tr/2013/03/how-kids-stole-show-young-coders.…

Please read this blog post, "Lighten Up": http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/ In it, Katie Cunningham explains the problem with the "it's just a joke" sentiment. Specifically, the cumulative effect.

"Lighten up" doesn't solve anything. I'm not against jokes but the implying man in man pages means male and not an abbreviation of manual is exclusionary. http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/

Yes, people are actually outraged. Because it's outrageous. This isn't "political correctness", this is "how not to shit on the fellow members of our profession". Telling people to Lighten Up[1] is not an adequate excuse for shitty behaviour. 1. http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/

The post you're trying to recall was this: http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/ Women in tech often are exposed to a culture of subtle denigration. A single incident may not seem like a big deal (and, in fact, isn't), but when it's the eighth one that day...

This works on big things. Not so much on little, cumulative ones. Why did A make a tasteless joke about B's outfit? Because he was nervous and his dubious sense of humor got ahead of his judgment. But he didn't mean anything by it and said he's sorry B feels that way. Well everyone says stupid things sometimes. No actual harm done. B should lighten up, right? That doesn't work. http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/ Some things are problems only because they're part of a larger pattern. That's when we need to think outside of the individual domain.

Because I think it bears repeating in the context of your comment, I'm going to post the same link to "Lighten Up," that danso posted above. By dismissing the sexist behavior described in the OP we give it a free pass. And your comment is dismissive. If we really care about the dearth of female talent in our communities we should be creating an environment where they want to hang out. http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/

The ad is discriminating; it doesn't appeal to both genders, does it? Read http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/ and then read the ad again.

Yeah, shouldn't everyone just lighten up? http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/

Jokes have been historically used by oppressed people to express their frustrations. Not saying it's the same thing here, but trying to ban humor, even if it is politically incorrect, is really not OK. Nobody is trying to ban edgy/dark humor. But there is a time and a place for that. A corporate event is not that place. The world would be a much better place if we smiled more. http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/

http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/ Lighten up, I didn't mean it, I didn't intend to upset you, so it must be ok!

Yeah, it's all just a few bad apples, there's no underlying problem. Just like all the other women with appalling experiences of sexism in the tech community. Seriously, if you can't see a fundamental problem, I seriously doubt you're looking very hard. http://therealkatie.net/blog/2012/mar/21/lighten-up/ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cerian-jenkins/the-tech-industry-is-one-… http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/CouchDB_talk http://bitquabit.com/post/seriously/ http://farukat.es/journal/2012/10/669-kathy-sierra-primer-sexism-discu…