Succeed Socially

The best guide I have ever seen is https://succeedsocially.com/ It’s so unbelievably straightforward and useful. It’s unfortunate that I discovered it after learning everything the hard way.

Not exactly that, but this is by far the best, most thorough resource I've ever found. I don't need it much anymore, but I used to read it a ton: http://www.succeedsocially.com/

Here's a great site anyone considering the state of their friendships and social life should check out: http://www.succeedsocially.com The sort of topics it covers: "How To Think Of Things To Say When Making Conversation" "When People Don't Seem Interested In Starting Friendships With You" "When You Feel Like Your Social Circle Is Indifferent To You" "Social Mistakes Intellectual People Can Make" "Reasons Someone May See You As Weird" Just start clicking around randomly and you'll probably find an article that draws your attention. Hope it helps any of you folks out there who see that they may be doing something wrong but can't figure out what it is.

>I'd really love a guide for social situations that would >actually be of use. You may want to check out http://www.succeedsocially.com. It's helped me more than anything else with my own awkwardness around people. It's free and has a nice no-bullshit attitude to it.

Hi, I used to struggle with socializing a lot. Now I have a job where the main value I add (on top of other nerds who might do the same job) is that I’m sociable. When I was in my early twenties, two resources helped me a lot: - Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People - https://www.succeedsocially.com/ Both resources present algorithms, if you will, for getting people to like you— and for learning to like them as well. IMO that is the most important thing: you have to like people, at least in the moment, in order to get along with them. It’s okay to still be an introvert; I’ve learned one of they keys to this is to figure out when you just can’t socialize anymore and need to retreat. You can’t force it, but you can learn it and practice it.

> why is there not a compendium of reasonable/decent ways to approach intrapersonal relationships and society in society today? Have you seen this? https://www.succeedsocially.com/ It's funny how entertaining it is to read seemingly obvious, common sense advice on things I learned "intuitively" (i.e. trial and error as an awkward adolescent) but never heard articulated out loud.

Because you have a lot to gain by doing so. Humans are capable of deriving a lot of happiness from social matters, so there's a large opportunity cost to being alone. That said, it obviously depends on the person's situation. I don't think the advice is good for everyone. But it's probably good for most. Edit: I found http://www.succeedsocially.com/allarticles to be really insightful and useful.

In my late twenties, a combination of things helped me somewhat (I am still lonely, but not nearly as much) * Psychotherapy (it takes time to find a therapist that clicks, though) * Antidepressants * Not trying to hide it from my colleagues / family (the period when I did that was a miserable one) * A few well-intentioned friends from work * Family support * This guide : http://www.succeedsocially.com/ * Meetup et al.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/ This guy has written a lot about this topic. I find his material very readable.

Technological: -Compilation of "Best How-To and DIY Sites" from PC Magazine (includes Instructables, WikiHow, Expert Village, WonderHowTo, etc.) - http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2347650,00.asp -DIY from Popular Science - http://www.popsci.com/diy -"Type of Skills Everyone Should Know" (originally "100 Skills Every Men Should Know") from Popular Mechanics - http://www.popularmechanics.com/home_journal/how_to/4284709.html -"64 Things Every Geek Should Know" - http://laptoplogic.com/resources/64-things-every-geek-should-know Intangible/"Lifehacks": -How to do better socially - http://www.succeedsocially.com/ -Productivity section of Lifehacker - http://lifehacker.com/tag/productivity/?refId=0 -Studying strategies - http://www.studygs.net/ Financial: -Mint.com's blog - http://www.mint.com/blog/

You don't necessarily get better at <thing> by just routinely doing the <thing>. If you drive mostly the same route every day for ten years, you'll hardly become any better driver. If you keep adding similar boilerplate bulk code by routine in your work, you'll hardly become any better programmer. You don't become more socially skilled through social interaction if you just do the routine things to get by. To learn things well, you need feedback loops. To learn from your social interactions you need to a) get the feedback. Not smelling bad is a basic social skill. Yet many people smell bad because nobody tells them that they smell bad. What are the ways you could get more feedback? Is there somebody you could ask to tell you what to do better? b) interpret the feedback and care about the feedback. Some people are better than others in interpreting subtle social cues (nuances of words and expressions, etc); they will naturally get better in social skills faster. Some people are more open to feedback and willing to improve than others (e.g. Not going "she doesn't like the way I smell, huh? Oh well, I'll forget about it"). Fortunately, these meta-skills can be improved; just accepting that they are important is a good first step. Youtube videos (Charisma on Command is good), books and other resources (e.g. https://www.succeedsocially.com/) can help.

It's not bad. Maybe 7/10. I read the page https://www.succeedsocially.com/morefun. Here's my initial impressions. Pros: it identified several important painpoints and give several decent examples. Cons: Being a truly fun person is all about reaction reaction reaction. Fun people react authentically (while censoring their ahole side because you don't want to be fun but unlikable), ridiculously (while reading the room), and intelligently (playing to the top of the crowd's intelligence).

http://www.succeedsocially.com/intellectual was more helpful to me.