Raptitude

My recommendation for you is to check out this blog: https://www.raptitude.com some of the posts deal with that subject. Oh look there is even a post title that seems to be what you are looking for: https://www.raptitude.com/2021/01/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult/

"Costs" does not have to mean "advertising". Here's some quality content: https://www.raptitude.com/ I've been following that blog for years, via RSS. Every article he writes, I read. He gives it away. You can support him by becoming a patron or signing up to courses, etc. he offers. No advertising, and very high quality.

I love this on a number of levels. First, a great question, and more than half the battle imo is asking the right kind of question. David Cain has touched on a version of this also [1]. And I very much am a person that can get lost in my own organizational overhead and know I'm being very out of balance between thinking and doing, and in search of an overarching framework or limiting principle. And I don't know that this solves everything, but it does bite off a piece of it, in a way that I think I agree with. The further out, the more circumstances can change, and the closer up, the more practical reasoning matters (they seem to use reasoning to mean something close to practical logistics). There's probably more to it, of course, but it's a good question and good start to an answer. 1. https://www.raptitude.com/2014/02/keep-your-doing-and-your-deciding-aw…

You don't need to work from home we can find/create spaces near your with like minded people in your community. Productivity is not the main reason big tech want people back to cubicles. They need to justify the spaceship shaped offices they built and also they need keep our consumption high. As describe in this post that's also trending on HN [0], the best way to do this is to remove spare time on our lives (ex: long commutes). https://www.raptitude.com/2010/07/your-lifestyle-has-already-been-desi…

I read this post from 2015 yesterday and was amused because the guy clearly seemed to have ADHD in my opinion [0]. Then in the comments on HN somebody mentioned that the author recently wrote about being diagnosed at 40, which may be an interesting read here [1]. The author says it was like living the Truman show. ADHD can be harmful and comes with a bunch of comorbidities that can also develop later in life. If you have trouble listening, tend to hyperfocus on things but also emotional states, etc. I recommend going forward with a diagnosis. [0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27495535 [1] https://www.raptitude.com/2021/03/what-raptitude-has-always-been-about…

Link to the article mentioned in the post: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/12/19/how-to-be-a-stoic Raptitude is a pretty neat blog - I really enjoy his earlier posts. My favorite article is titled "How to walk across a parking lot": http://www.raptitude.com/2011/09/how-to-walk-across-a-parking-lot/

Don't know if this applies to your case - and kuddos for making the commitment here - but some of what you say resonates with me. I recently discovered Raptitude, and this post blew me away by elucidating so many things I've felt but couldn't give voice to: http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-laziness/ I've recently taken steps to improve my lot in life and live up to my potential. Best of luck on our respective journeys!

In case anyone goes looking for the follow up to this post - you can find it here: http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/progress-is-the-only-protection/ Original post: http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-laziness/

Top stories on HN kill servers. http://www.raptitude.com/ is inaccessible. I think its HN's moral duty to implement some-kind of caching mechanism for top rated stories.

For me it was this, generalized to "Ultimately, no one, nobody else, will be able to or willing to care about your best interests except yourself." People, families, groups, systems and institutions act primarily through their own structures and in their own best interests, are able to forget, misinterpret or simply not care about what you want/need/desire/expect/(feel you) deserve from them, and can never care about you as an individual as much as you can care about yourself. This can apply to small or big things. This even applies to formal, specific, contractual obligations others have to you. That's just paper. It can be at best ineffective to expect others to act in your (best) interest while you are not there supervising and understanding everything they are doing. Trust, but verify, and be ready to protest for and enforce your rights. The world is full of minor and major bullshit many have given up on to change, to care about, or feel powerless to change anything about. If anything moves in this world it is through the stubbornness of dedicated individuals. Since you yourself have only limited time and energy, be ready to endure this bullshit which makes life seem insufferable and unfair. Also, today's society has no effective mechanisms to punish misbehavior at small scales, and repeat offenders who move between communities. I may have been childish, naive, too hopeful or entitled to expect otherwise, but nowadays I know that at any time, people or the universe…

This passage from raptitude post always sticks in my head, comparing 2 mental approaches to a disgusting part of a cleaning job he was squeamish about, basically practice to feel & observe the fear but do not resist or react to it: http://www.raptitude.com/2010/08/how-to-make-life-agreeable/ >...It usually involved holding your breath and averting your eyes as you scoop out the food-slime and hurriedly direct it toward the garbage bin, bracing yourself throughout, as if you’re jumping into icy water. It’s the same strategy a wide-eyed Fear Factor contestant uses as he chomps frantically on the June bug in his mouth — he doesn’t want to confront it, he wants to escape it. That method didn’t work for me, it just made me more aware of how awful it was. As soon as I tackled one sink, I began dreading the next room. I don’t remember when it clicked, but after not too many kitchens, I learned the secret: Let it feel like whatever it feels like. Just do it and let it have its way with you. Turn toward it, not away. Whenever I came to a gunked-up drain, I just scooped it out without rushing. I reached into the drain with no more reluctance than I would have reaching into a cookie jar. I looked at the mess with a stoic curiosity, allowing the swollen noodles and bread-mush to rest freely in my fingers for the two or three unhurried seconds it took to transfer them to the garbage can. As long as I wasn’t rushing or trying not to touch it, it was painless. It wasn’t worth…

That's one of the best articles you could read on the subject, I might give it another read seeing as you've linked it here. This was another favourite, the one that started my 'journey': http://www.raptitude.com/2011/05/procrastination-is-not-laziness/ YMMV, but to-do lists were just another source of pressure for me, so I've been trying to create external pressure for myself instead. I was a software developer wanting to learn data science but never went through with any of the MOOCs I started, even though I was interested in the subject. So I started a Masters to give myself that framework of accountability, deadlines etc. I realise that's an extreme example, so I'll give a smaller one too. My wife wanted a Wordpress plugin and I offered to help, and immediately set a date for when I'd work on it. Even though she wasn't forcing me or anything, she was the external pressure I created, and rather than make me anxious it actually helped me focus and get the job done. The biggest realisation for me was that the barrier to starting something is orders of magnitude bigger than the barrier to keep going, so you can try to experiment with ways to fool yourself into starting. Things like saying "I will work on this but only for 15 minutes, after which I'll reward myself with some time on the Playstation" often lead to me getting into flow before the time is up, and then just carrying on, sometimes for hours.

I just returned home from hauling most of my clothing to the local Goodwill. On a related note, I look forward to seeing more people wearing startup/conference t-shirts around NYC, since they comprised the lion's share of my wardrobe... I've been researching these services for the past few weeks since I've committed myself to liquidating most of my belongings (I live in a small apartment with no closets -- thanks New York! -- and was inspired by this blog post: http://www.raptitude.com/2011/01/i-dont-want-stuff-any-more-only-thing… and would prefer to see them in the hands of friends and those in need rather than a landfill. Does anyone have recommendations for where/how to donate more valuable items? For example, I want to donate an expensive drone I never use, but would prefer to see it go to a classroom/after-school program. Thinking I'll search DonorsChoose.org and offer things to teachers, but is there another service?

Rather than having a daily list, I use Feeder (Chrome extension: http://feeder.co/) to read my RSS feeds, I had always preferred it to Google Reader, I never did get myself into the mantra of checking Reader often (it ended up being once every few months, when I randomly remembered) ; however Feeder is nice in its minimalistic approach, just showing me how many items for each feed, which encourages me to zero it out, although unlike Reader it just shows the titles of RSS feed items, so I end up judging whether or not to read an article based on the title. A few feeds I follow: News * Hacker News - https://news.ycombinator.com/ (https://news.ycombinator.com/rss and https://news.ycombinator.com/bigrss [a lot of the posts are repeated over both, and note these are not necessarily the front page posts, my guess is that they are upvoted new posts, so I end up reading some posts before they reach the front page]) * Phoronix - http://www.phoronix.com/ (http://www.phoronix.com/rss.php) * ThreatPost - http://threatpost.com/ (http://threatpost.com/feed) * TheNextWeb - http://thenextweb.com/ (http://feeds2.feedburner.com/thenextweb) * Wired - http://www.wired.com/ (http://feeds.wired.com/wired/index) * iClarified - http://www.iclarified.com/ (http://iclarified.com/rss/rss.xml) * TorrentFreak - https://torrentfreak.com/ (http://feeds.feedburner.com/Torrentfreak) * r/WorldNews - http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews (http://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/.rss) Blogs * Securelist -…

Recently I use the 'block' technique the author of this blog write about: https://www.raptitude.com/2023/08/how-to-inherit-a-fortune/ It's basically pomodoro, but with different way to visualize about it, and it somehow feels...better? At least for my ADHD brain. The author wrote blogs for years, and just diagnosed with ADHD a couple years ago, and somehow his lifelong struggle suddenly explainable(you know, like many of us ADHDer did) That aside, his blog is usually a joy to read.

There was a good article recently on HN, `Everything must be paid for twice`: https://www.raptitude.com/2022/01/everything-must-be-paid-for-twice/ Always think of the second order effect of a purchase. Bought a new guitar? Now you have to take guitar lessons and entertain joining a band or going solo if you happen to be very gifted with it. Same with anything. New self-help book? Now you have to get shit done on purpose, otherwise it's just a bunch of paper with no meaning.

Related: https://www.raptitude.com/2012/07/most-lives-are-lived-by-default/

I skimmed through the World section; it took 5 seconds to remember why I don't read the news. https://www.raptitude.com/2016/12/five-things-you-notice-when-you-quit…

Just wanted to echo this sentiment. Here's another blog post that helped me reflect on this, from Raptitude (a blog sometimes shared here): https://www.raptitude.com/2009/03/how-to-keep-bad-moods-from-taking-yo…

Yes, I stopped reading the news, and for some time I felt "bad" about it -until I read this article: http://www.raptitude.com/2016/12/five-things-you-notice-when-you-quit-…

"Your Lifestyle has already been designed" from Raptitude blog. https://www.raptitude.com/2010/07/your-lifestyle-has-already-been-desi… (the title is self explanatory)

For those who resonate with this post, it might help to know that the author more recently announced he was diagnosed with ADHD and that he started receiving treatment (including medication) for it. https://www.raptitude.com/2021/03/what-raptitude-has-always-been-about…

Raptitude has a good article about why you should read less news: https://www.raptitude.com/2016/12/five-things-you-notice-when-you-quit…

And this: https://www.raptitude.com/2016/12/five-things-you-notice-when-you-quit…

I finally found it :) https://www.raptitude.com/2012/07/most-lives-are-lived-by-default/

Short and to the point: https://dailystoic.com/dont-read-the-news-today/ Here's a particularly good post about it: https://www.raptitude.com/2016/12/five-things-you-notice-when-you-quit…

These links discuss "news diets" as a counter to the problem of news as low-quality information and/or information pollution: http://www.raptitude.com/2016/12/five-things-you-notice-when... http://www.dobelli.com/en/essays/news-diet/ And here's a similar recent discussion on HN: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19084099

"I have found that I've fought against what I felt like I SHOULD be doing." I think you hit on the key issue here. Whenever I reflect on my choices I feel this is what I "should " be doing to advance my career in a traditional sense and trying to live life by default. Few years ago I came across this article and this pretty much described myself[1]. I haven't been able to act on the advice given in that article yet. It is time for that now I think. [1] http://www.raptitude.com/2012/07/most-lives-are-lived-by-default/

Work for The Man and you'll just make Larry Ellison, Steve Balmer, Tim Cook richer. Incidentally, someone interviewed The Man not too long ago: http://www.raptitude.com/2013/09/an-interview-with-the-man/